It is an honor to be chosen as a groomsman for a wedding. It means you get to play an important role in one of the most special days of your friend’s or family’s life. While you may not have as many duties as the best man or the maid of honor, it’s a responsibility that you shouldn’t take too lightly.
A groomsman isn’t just about being by the groom’s side when he says “I do.” You also have to do the following things listed below.
Plan the Bachelor’s Party
This is the groom’s last opportunity to hang out with some of his closest friends as a single man. Make sure that it’s going to be memorable. Though, traditionally, planning the bachelor’s party is the job of the best man, it certainly wouldn’t be bad to lend a helping hand.
Whether it’s finding a great location like a beach resort or an underground bar, volunteering to collect everyone’s contribution, or doing the groceries for food and alcohol, it’s already a big help to the best man. Make sure to take into account the groom’s preferences (as it is his party, after all) to ensure that he gets to completely enjoy all the aspects of the celebration you prepared for him.
Prepare Your Own Wedding Attire
Groomsmen are expected to purchase or rent their own tux or suit for the wedding or have it tailored. Do this ahead of time so you won’t burden the couple with additional stress. Just make sure that whatever you wear fits you perfectly and is appropriate to the occasion.
You should also consult the couple for the theme and motif of the wedding or if they have special requests as to what you’re going to wear. They may want you to wear a particular color for your coat or tie.
Some couples prefer a uniform outfit for their bridesmaids and groomsmen. If this is the case, offer to contribute to the expenses, or know where you can find their preferred tailor to do the job. It’s always best to ask them when you’re in doubt.
Attend the Rehearsal Dinner
It is expected for the groomsmen to be present for any pre wedding events. The rehearsal dinner, in particular, is a good opportunity for you to meet the friends and relatives of the couple before the big day. This is also where you learn your cues and the order of processional and recessional for the ceremony.
A smooth wedding is what you’re gunning for. You may not be looking forward to be in these activities, but it’s a nice show of support for the soon-to-weds.
You can also share a few words and raise your glass to the groom and his spouse-to-be. It doesn’t have to be a grand speech, but as long as it is sincere and honest, the happy couple will appreciate it.
Book Your Own Accommodations
You have to take care of your own hotel and travel accommodations. This is especially true for destination weddings. Find out ahead of time when and where the location of the wedding will be.
If you don’t book a room in the same hotel where the couple will be staying, get one that is relatively close so you won’t have to travel far to attend any of the prewedding activities and the ceremony itself. If you have to fly out, don’t wait the last minute to book your tickets.
Tickets are pricier if they’re booked nearer the date of your flight. Don’t burden the couple with the possibility of being late for their wedding—or, worse, that you can’t make it after confirming that you can. That’s just plain rude.
Assist the Groom on the Big Day
The wedding rings are an important part of the wedding ceremony. The maid of honor and the best man usually take care of them. But it doesn’t hurt if you politely remind them of this responsibility because, believe it or not, the groom also worries about these little things come wedding day.
As one of the groomsmen (but, more importantly, as his friend), you have to make sure that he is calm and relaxed in the hours leading to the moment he says “I do.”
It’s a big day, and he’s bound to get stressed. That’s why you’re there to keep his nerves in check and assure him that everything will be okay.
You’ll also be getting ready with the groom. So before you leave for the venue, make sure that you have everything that you need for your attire. Double-check if you’ve brought with you your necktie or the right shoes. It’s a hassle if you have to go back just to get them.
Give a Gift to the Couple
It has become a growing custom for newlyweds to hand out gifts to select people who have helped make their wedding a special one. It’s usually the groom who takes the lead in giving presents for the groomsmen and the best man. At the rehearsal dinner or pre wedding brunch, the groom may just surprise you with a simple token for being with him on his big day.
It’s also customary that you give a present to the couple. With all the activities that you have to attend, this tiny detail may slip your mind. Make sure to include this in your budget so you can buy a gift beforehand.
Be thoughtful. Apart from being close to the couple, you were chosen to become one of the groomsmen because you know them in a more intimate way. So find a gift that the bride and groom will appreciate.
Be practical as well. Get them something that they can both use in their lives as a wedded couple, or check out their registry. That’s always a good place to start if you’re having trouble picking out a gift.
Behave like a Proper Gentleman
All of the couple’s closest relatives and friends will be present, you wouldn’t want to embarrass them so behave like a proper gentleman. This means that you shouldn’t take away the spotlight from the bride and groom.
Be fun and energetic, not rude and rowdy. If it’s an open-bar reception, go get yourself a drink or two but just enough that you can handle. No one wants a drunk groomsman making a scene.
Don’t be shy, and interact with the other guests. As much as it is your job to help the happy couple, it’s also your responsibility to handle the people they invited.
Feel the energy in the room, and introduce the guests to one another. During the reception, after the first dance of the newlyweds, go out on the dance floor, and bust your moves. This will help set the tone for the entire night.